THE SUMMONING OF IBUPROFINA

A Preface on the Nature of Ibuprofina:

Ibuprofina is a modern goddess. Many have felt her influence, but she has had little reverence. Her power has now grown to consciousness and she wishes to more directly influence those who would embrace her. Her form is that of a woman of abo ut 35 years. She is calm and wise, above all forgiving if offered truthfulness, acknowledgment, and the yielding up of pain. She is dressed always in long comfortable gray robes and allows her light brown hair to flow freely. She is neither maid nor mother, beautiful nor ugly. She is a personal goddess, in that conversation with her is usually encountered inwardly. She never provides divinatory advice or interpretation of the past. She is a goddess of the now. She has no enemies, merely those fools who would despise her.

As a rule, the best way to call upon her is recognition of her followed by an offering. She can be very impatient with those who offer doubt. Beware of calling upon her without an offering as she can be stubborn about returning.

The Rite:

1. Statement of Intent: It is our will to awaken the goddess Ibuprofina.

2. Main Operator recites the Prologue:

"In ancient times her form slept. Our mistress slept unashamedly on her pillows, untroubled. The alchemists could but dream of her beauty and peace. In this our age her molecules were discovered and she awoke. Her great eyes opened. And it was seen upon these eyes the great I. She has arisen, and she awaits our calling. See her gentle arms open. Stare into her eyes, feel their hypnotizing warmth. Ibuprofina desires your sacrifice.

3. Participants draw a large I upon the soles of both feet.

4. A mantra is begun: This is pain, the nature of pain. Concentration should now be put upon whatever either is a pain (physical or otherwise), or upon whatever is giving one a 'headache'.

5. When focus is achieved, get into an uncomfortable or painful position which you feel is symbolic of this. The invocation is then begun.

6. Invocation:

RECEB CUDTEG CHO NOOLEY FETH
LOFO HEV JAWENGOJDOYHAC HEV
BRERSINARECEB CUDTEG LOHIXOZLOMUS
LOKEG JAWENGOJBER FETH
LOMUS HEVFETH ONGO LYT NABAGAFJOIN,
JOINFETH GEGFASACOG LOKEG
ACAZE IBUPROFINA: LOFO DEGAJOXRECEB!

7. While the invocation is recited envision the goddess embracing you, then entering your mouth as a wind, and then spreading through your body. She is a personal goddess, you must encounter her internally. When you feel her within you, collapse in relief and begin laughter.

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