THE RITE OF TELEVANGELICAL GNOSIS

Purpose:

This is a rite for attaining vacuity and sigil transmission utilizing a pre-existing vector: The Television Evangelist.

Background:

Turn on PTL or other appropriate televangelical networks. A televangelical video tape is a handy item for readily sharing this ritual with others. Observe the "live" audience and their many different methods of attaining Gnosis:

a. Ecstatic dance, frenetic movement, seething, writhing etc.

b. Singing, praying, speaking in tongues/glossolalia, interpretation, prophecy, sexual arousal from close proximity to others in a revivalist frenzy.

c. Total faith in the ability of the televangelist to deliver a personal petition to the Almighty Hirself: (miraculous healings, divination, discernment of spirits etc.)

d. Fear and Guilt Gnosis: Fear of Hell, Fear of being "left out" of Heaven, Snake Handling, Baptism in icy waters, etc.

e. Stigmata, mass quasi-consensual hallucinations, etc.

These are but a few of the methods of attaining Televangelical Gnosis; free "gifts" from the "Holy Ghost".

In this rite, we attempt to utilize these fundamentalist dynamics to temporarily suspend our disbelief, and direct our will without lust for results, into the virtual certainty of the Televangelists ability to transmit the sigil directly into the vortex of the "Holy Spirit".

The Rite:

1. Create sigilized monogram of desire.

2. Turn on PTL (Opening)

3. Statement of Intent:

"It is our/my will to utilize the "magical", "techno-shamanic" and "hypnotic" powers of the TV Evangelist to attain gnosis and transmit our sigilized desire/s."

4. Place sigil on opaque paper over TV screen, allowing for at least partial viewing of the program.

5. Attain gnosis (using any combination of the methods mentioned above) but consider the possibility of gnosis attained through total self disgust and humiliation for allowing yourself to be watching the ridiculous Xtian spectacle.

6. Become disgusted with the complete tackiness and total lack of dignity and self respect that Xtians invariably suffer from. (highly recommended)

7. Become sexually aroused at the thought of this absurdity (at this time "Phone Sex" with the on-line Televangelical operators is recommended as an additional link, but is not entirely necessary).

Otherwise this may be an appropriate opportunity for an auto-erotic pathworking involving such fantasies as:

a) Imagine having sex with the lady with the big purple hair and ultra-long fake eyelashes.

b) Imagine having sex with Jimmy Baker/Swaggart-types with sweaty palms and booze on their breath.

c) Any kinky combination of the above. (use your imagination)

8. As the preacher requests/demands the "Love Seed", or "Gift of Love", the "Love Sacrifice" ($$$), etc., Attain Vacuity (by whatever means available) and anoint the sigil and the TV screen with your sexual/bodily fluids. Just wait for the inevitable: "Right Now", "Right Now"! (The Televangelist will chant this with a Deep Southern Accent). The act of anointing the sigil and television may be the result of a direct climax, focused on the screen.

9. Visualize/focus on your uttermost contempt for Xtianity as you immerse the screen in bodily fluids. Keep in mind the "Preacher's" advice involving large "Love Seeds" for large desires. (aside from the direct linkage to the ritual itself, this "offering" serves to cirCUMvent the "spirit" of the Xtian paradigm).

10. Banish using TV remote controller as "wand" - and change stations while giggling hysterically.

Note:

The preacher needs your "Love Seed/Gift" in order to transmit your sigil to "Heaven"(where the Almighty resides, waiting for "Judgment Day"). Rather than giving the "Seed" or "Egg" in love for Xtianity, you may feel inclined to offer it in utter contempt for the Xtian paradigm, as an exercise in good taste. This desecration of the Xtian paradigm (depending on the rigidity of your pre-existing belief structures) may serve to greatly enhance the power of the enchantment itself.

"All prayer dissipates without an intermediary or carrier. Gods, soul and the psycho-substantive seem to respond only through the mind by in-direction and hetero-suggestion: this is the secret way through many barriers."

- A.O.S from "The Logomachy of Zos".

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