Node Information Introductory Proselytism Turbulence Management Adviriitizing   &   Trafficking Z(corporate) Wire


Give up the grip for our D.O.P.E.!




          Z(enseider)Z's very own web-based Department Of Peripheral Epiphenomena desperately needs your help to appropriate tax exempt funding for its projected 8.5 trillion dollar Outreach program budget.

          Slated for 2018's late fiscal quarter, our D.O.P.E. has its sights set on a selective transmundane topographical delineation program that endeavors to secure a liminal space for accessing an aetheric momentary autonomous zone. This staging ground will act as a space for linking up with other z0s q1a meme-bearers via the pipeline of vast inhabitance which we've come to call the sidereal stratum, but which exists as more of a navigational axis or trans-portal to other places or dimensions than an actual destination. Much like Atlanta: not so much a terminal, in and of itself, but a transit hub able to take you anywhere else you'd like to go.

          The exhausted terms 'astral plane' and 'astral projection' represent quite limited, counter-integrable titles -- free from any holistic descriptive coordinates or distinct formal initiations. Does our station epitomize a neutral sector or some more hostile aether? What creatures are we apt to encounter? Are these alchemical chimera drawn direct from an individual's subconsciousness or more likely the collective unconscious?

          These embody the types of questions that need answering and would exemplify where our D.O.P.E. comes into the picture. Our research teams remain at the bleeding edge of esotechnology, ontological terrorism, and chemognostic illumination. Our D.O.P.E. investigative outfits will conduct rigorous magickal experiments with various psychedelic agents until such time as the simulacrum of empirical evidence regarding the sidereal stratum arises from their undertakings. That, or their siddhis grow so powerful they transcend the need for such petty dualistic nominations as confirmation, demonstration, and the necessity for experiential results.

  The Frivolities of a Fraternal Disorder

          Analysts and other personnel on our D.O.P.E. research panel also find themselves determined to embark on a four month cross-country excursion. The staff is intent on sustaining temporary dual-residence back and forth between The Borgata in Atlantic City and Caesars Palace in Las Vegas in an H3 stretch limousine. South American, European, and African meme-bearers are outraged at the mis-allocation of funding, while headz in Asia are already filling out the necessary paperwork and browsing airline ticket prices online.

          Academics speculate that 2% of the publicly funded expenditure will be spent on mind and mood altering substances of every sort and strain, with 20% laid out for gas, tolls, snacks, and coffee; while a startling 78% of the budget estimate accounts for a half dozen armored trucks full of small denomination bills to be used collectively by our D.O.P.E. to pay for lap dances, v.i.p. room dry humps, and parking lot dumpster-slut bjs.

  Reckless Acts of Interdenominationalism

          The outreach program was first mentioned at the winter 2015 Epicurean Opportunists Entrepreneurship convention where Z(enseider)Z acting press secretary, Eian Orange, was on hand to openly admit that all he currently 'reaches out' for is "a few asses and titties at the jiggly bar here and there" and at other times his "custom made glass rig, tungsten dabber, and hand-held blow-torch" which happens to be some of the only things Eian said on December 13th that weren't completely unfit for print.

          During his 51 minute dialogue with a standing audience of underground reporters and media moguls, new age run off, and distinct clusters of fellow chaotes, Eian expressed distaste for the current direction of occultural trends.

          When asked what he intended to actually do about this turn toward disastrous soft-boiled mysticism, he said that his first step in resolving this fashion dilemma would involve coordinating efforts with the Mother Hive Brain syndicate to construct a viable business proposal.

  Afterwhich his voice erupted with conviction stating that:

          "everybody has a plan, until they get punched in the face" relevant words of wisdom attributed to Mike Tyson.

  The Proposal Itself and Our Promise to You

          In essence, our D.O.P.E. and the Z(enseider)Z foundation would use your gifted donations to set-up our LLC which, in turn, intakes monies from private citizens to facilitate, fabricate, and exacerbate:

  • maintaining of the disorganization's website on the front end (copy writing, image branding, web design) and on the back end (server maintenance, host fees, domain registration) in order to deliver our audience with the finest in unparalleled Zentertainment in the form of paradigmal piracy, verbal ontological terrorism, and esotechnological warfare tactics
  • continued research funding needed to complete the long awaited Memetic Journal of Nescience and Dissection slated for publication somewhere around 2018-19
  • allocation of expenditure for the recording of our next LP to be released through sometime in 2017-2018
  • furthering the Gematria of Nothing research tribute (referred to as Liber Infernus Enumera) in its construction of a user-friendly calculator and database/dictionary of enumerations
  • continued expansion on the sociological aspect of Zeememe clusterphilia and its effects on non-Zee meme-aliens
  • recurring kNewzlog adviriitizements containing content from all aspects of Z(enseider)Z inner workings including album releases, page updates, ritual excursions, collaborative efforts, and backdating of studious events
  • increased storage capacities for the Gnosis Goddess of Art and Creativity, Capeditiea, to house all her musicks on our servers
  • advancement of the technology involved in Original Zenseid vampiric servitor and radionic egregore projects such as the publicly known Killswitch Effluvic Reservoir and the chaosatellite known only as Thee Device as well as the secret enchantments yet to be unmasked
  • extension of the all caps "chaos magick" FB section of the website, including a post-apocalyptic abode for its persistent and fastidious servitor known as T'Crely Sov Pndagbui as well as the slowly growing Grim War ov Khaos, compiled from group meme-bearer's writings

  Options to Buy in or Sell out

          It's a shoddy proposal, but then again considering the underlying communal (or more commonly feudal) retardation exhibited by the target demographic it seems logical to conclude that anything is possible when dealing with endorsers who believe that anything is possible.

          We begin by imagining that there's some vestige of remotely prolific or interesting occultural fodder floating around our vacant skulls that's controversial enough to enervate the most gullible, impulsively spend happy demographic there is: newagey nick-knack collecting d'oh-cultists and precarious pagan parents populating the provinces of peasantry.

          Before you know it we're publishing our first novel, and contributing articles to garbage anthologies on name recognition alone, and ultimately procrastinating the expansion of our pseudo-eclectic Easy-Fake empire out into further pointless contrivances such as interactive websites that help elitist cupcakes smooth out their frosting.

          Invariably, these same sites are accompanied by the obligatory technical school drop out discussion lists and graphic novels with pre-fabricated storylines ripped off from other people's rip offs of other peoples rip offs.

  Denotative Analysis

          Let's not forget the witlessly branded cafe press merchandise, and the $15 Internet-only compilation albums that people wouldn't waste hard drive space downloading for free. It is sad to admit, but this has become the predictable Dao of convention for the overabundance of phony psyberpunk neo-Luddites chasing magickal enfranchisement by numbers.

          Not surprisingly, the followers of this philosophy haven't grossed enough to sustain a section 8 lifestyle nevermind being able to thrive at a comfortable level from the fruits of their so called labor. Money is a poor indicator of wealth. Popularity is a false measure of success.

          The lesson here: Buy the bumper sticker, skip the dermabrasion tattoo and get on the motherfucking tour bus before we decide to leave you in buttfuck Arkansas for spending too much time in the gas station bathroom shooting up your preferred drug this week. Obviously we need your help and you need ours. It's mutually beneficial.

          All we're asking for is a little bit of your hard-earned time and energy as it'll only take a minute to fill out the information needed for you to donate much needed funds for our starving artists' collective whom only wish to continue to create art online through graphic images, the written word, and the musical note.

          Please refer to our What The Fuck?! page for further extrapolation as to who we are and what we do in the vaguest language possible from as many enseid sources as humanly viable.

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